Earlier this year, I went for an annual physical exam that included a breast ultrasound procedure. The doctors found a mysterious mass on my right breast, and before I knew it, I found myself scheduling breast surgery. The whole ordeal scared the shit out of me but I was glad that I knew rather than being ignorant of what was happening in my body.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and as part of Project Vanity’s mission to empower women, we’d like to encourage you to get yourself checked. It’s scary but necessary, and it can literally save your life. The certainty of knowing the status of your health can only ever be helpful, even when the results are far from ideal. I talked to eight women who received what many would consider as bad news, but there are no sob stories here. I hope that they inspire you to stay positive even when it’s difficult and empower you to take control of your health.
![The Kanebo x Project Vanity Beauty Workshop with ICanServe Foundation inspired us to be more proactive about our health and have a more positive attitude!]()
The Kanebo x Project Vanity Beauty Workshop with ICanServe Foundation inspired us to be more proactive about our health and have a more positive attitude!
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SMV, dancer
I was 19 years old when I first felt a lump in one of my breasts. I waited over a few monthly periods to see if it would go away but when it didn't, I had it tested and eventually surgically removed. The mass was found to be benign but four years later, I developed an itchy rash near the scar area. After various tests and repeatedly going to the doctor because I wasn’t satisfied with the results, a surgical biopsy was finally done on the skin lesion and on the tissue underneath. At age 24, I was diagnosed with stage 0 breast cancer and Paget's Disease. For a brief moment, I felt a sense of comfort from finally knowing what I was up against but the word "carcinoma" pulled me to a state of numbness and despair.
The recommendation for mastectomy (removal of the entire breast tissue) seemed extreme so I sought up to four different opinions while doing extensive research on alternative and complementary treatments. In the end, I still had to undergo a mastectomy but I felt at peace because I knew that I had done all that I could (contacting clinics and treatment programs, getting various tests, making healthier lifestyle choices and trying naturopathic medicine) to make the best decision for me.
The mastectomy was completed but because of some complications, I haven’t yet been able to push through with reconstructive surgery and it has made me feel very self-conscious about my appearance. I avoid unpadded and unlined bras to hide my somewhat uneven size and shape, and usually wear printed shirts or thick layers that do not show any sign of unevenness. I also try to avoid changing in ladies' locker rooms unless I'm alone. I’ve thought about getting a permanent tattoo to conceal the scar but realized that I may still need more surgeries in the future.
Cancer can be very unpredictable so it's best to educate yourself about the disease, available treatments, and other factors that can affect the course of the disease and long-term health. Our efforts may not always give us our desired outcomes, but knowing that we do our best to take care of ourselves can give us some peace of mind.
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Irene Pajarillo-Reyes, employee
Since my teens, I have had benign cysts removed from both breasts so I was surprised when a small lump began to hurt. The pain was so excruciating, not even a shot of morphine could ease my suffering. I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer and started getting chemotherapy even before the mastectomy. I did another four cycles after the surgery and had a series of 12 radiotherapy sessions.
What makes having cancer doubly hard is coping with the side effects of the treatments. Constant vomiting, dizziness, loss of appetite, weakness, head to toe pain, and a weakened immune system all became part of my daily reality. Since most of my hair had fallen out, I had my head shaved and it was then that I realized that cancer can be harder on women. No one asks you why you’re bald if you’re a man, but it makes heads turn and stare when you’re a woman. So I would remind myself that being sick didn’t lessen who I am as a person but gave me opportunities to become better. I also thought my baldness allowed me to have fun and wear wigs that are blond or bright red - colors that I wouldn’t have dared to dye my hair! I felt more conscious about how I looked after the mastectomy because having an odd-shaped top means not being able to wear shirts that are fitted.
It became easier to deal with cancer when I learned to accept my condition and realized that I had to muster the courage and the conviction to trust God no matter what. It’s important to not feel defeated and to just take life one day at a time. Without my family and friends, going through life facing a challenge like cancer would be too tough to handle so I feel doubly blessed knowing I had them and a God who loved me.
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Michelina Imson-Cadhit, head of customer service at The Medical City
I was 41 years old when I got diagnosed. I had my breast ultrasound and mammogram only upon prescription of the company doctor who conducted my routine annual physical exam. It was a shock because I never felt any pain or discomfort in my breast! I had a skin-sparing mastectomy with immediate reconstruction (my own belly fat was used as filler), 8 cycles of chemotherapy, 28 sessions of radiation therapy, and 6 routine injections of stem cell therapy. I still continue to take oral medication to suppress hormone and estrogen production.
While I felt devastated upon the news of diagnosis, I only felt sad for a short period of time. It’s not easy but being able to accept my reality quickly was very important. I needed to make medical decisions fast because I didn’t want to waste time for intervention. Even though I experienced joint and muscle pain and metallic aftertaste after chemotherapy, and skin burn due to the radiation therapy (because I did not follow the skin regimen prescribed), I feel that I coped really well with my treatment journey.
I am naturally conscious of how I present myself, and used my condition as an opportunity to look good in new ways. When I lost my hair, I bought bandanas and hats to match my outfits and got an eyebrow stencil, which worked like magic! My red matte lipstick became my best friend, and I used a matching polish to cover up my gray-looking nails. People who didn’t know what I was going through actually thought that I was just making a fashion statement.
I'm still in the five-year post-treatment monitoring so I'm officially still battling it. Cancer will definitely change one's outlook in life and many would say that as cancer patients, we should always be positive. For me, it's not just being positive about yourself that's important but also how positive you are towards others. My family was a big inspiration for me: because of them, I tried my best to not look and feel sick. I believed that if I looked and acted normal during my treatment, that's how the people around me would also feel about me. I didn’t want them to feel sad or to worry. So I continued to work, do errands, stay active, and even go to the nail salon as I normally would have. It helped my family to more easily accept my circumstances and to cope with my treatment journey.
My only regret is that I didn’t follow the doctor's advice on skin care during radiation therapy. I didn't use the skin moisturizers prescribed to me, and I got very painful burns and blisters as a result. I hope that other patients will take heed and make sure to follow the right precautions even if they don’t feel like they need it.
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Lea Santos, executive director at Guam Commission for Educator Certification
I was 60 years old and getting a mammogram as part of my annual physical when a mass was detected on my right breast. It was found to be stage 0 cancer so I had a lumpectomy and 33 sessions of radiation therapy.
I never felt sorry for myself nor did I cry when I found out that I had cancer. As soon as I was diagnosed, I immediately had a lumpectomy, recuperated, and started radiation treatments after. Since both of my parents had cancer (my mother had leukemia while my father had cancer of the voice box), I had always assumed that our family had a predisposition to the disease and that the odds were quite high that I too would have cancer. When both of my parents had cancer treatments, I was the official family caregiver, nurse, driver, cook, laundry woman, accountant and general slave. That experience gave me a very nonchalant attitude towards the disease. So during the treatments, I tried to live a normal life. I drove myself to and from the hospital for my lumpectomy and radiation treatments. I was exhausted after the radiation sessions so I rested at home and only occasionally went out with family and friends. One of the side effects of the radiation was a sensation of heat inside my breast so I would apply an ice pack to cool it down. I have accepted the fact that my breasts are different sizes and refuse to buy a prosthesis. I have been using a sports bra since the lumpectomy.
If you have cancer and no medical insurance, be sure to look at your financial resources. Find out if you can afford the treatments so you can plan your next steps. Be realistic and weigh your options. You have to make plans for the future, especially if you have a family. Try to foresee what your limits are. Cancer is like any other disease. Keep a positive attitude and live each day like it is the last so you have no regrets. Follow your doctors, take the treatments and medications, and be sure to remain vigilant. Seek solace in prayers.
Susie Macapagal, retired college assistant professor
I had been undergoing yearly mammograms since 1990 and in 2006, the results showed something suspicious. A biopsy confirmed the malignancy and I underwent modified radical mastectomy. I also had to take Tamoxifen (oral medications) for five years but I was very relieved when both my oncologist and surgical oncologist told me that I didn’t need to undergo chemotherapy. After my operation, I coped by trying to see the positive side: that the cancer was caught early and that I didn’t need chemotherapy. I had a supportive family and friends plus I found a support group who not only could sympathize but also understand what I was going through. Most of all, I had and still have Mama Mary. I put my trust in her. She's my rock.
Losing a part of your body is a big physical, mental, and emotional trauma. It made me feel lopsided and less of a woman. But you teach yourself to deal with it and believe that cancer should not make you less of a person. In fact, it should make you a better person for it makes you see things differently and remind you to NOT take things for granted.
Catching cancer at an early stage is the best way of beating it so please get yourself checked every year. If you have been diagnosed with cancer, believe that you can beat it. Be the co-pilot of your doctors in the management of your therapy as this will make you feel less helpless and more in charge of your situation. Join a support group because you need people who can empathize, understand, and support you. And prayers are medicine for the mind and the soul.
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Rebecca Dizon-Fuentes, founding member of ICanServe Foundation
I was 45 when I felt a lump in my right breast. Based on the mammogram, the oncologist said it was benign but a biopsy revealed that it was Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. I had a lumpectomy, 12 sessions of chemotherapy and 36 sessions of radiation therapy.
I lost weight and fell into a depression. My husband was also a commercial pilot at the time so I was constantly worried about him coming home safe. Because I was depressed, I didn’t care very much about my appearance. Luckily, my hair didn’t fall out!
I’ve come to realize that cancer is a journey that I had to take to lead me into the road to wellness and wholeness. My family’s support played a big role in my road to recovery, and my faith saw me through. I can say with all my heart that I thank God for cancer because it has changes in my life beyond imaginings.
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Nikoy De Guzman, vice president and head for collaboration of ICanServe Foundation
My first diagnosis was 13 years ago on the left breast, and after 12 years I had another on the right breast. I had radical mastectomy for both stage 1 cancers, and experienced both chemotherapy treatments. Admittedly the second one came as a shock because I was already very aware about breast cancer and had made the effort to lead a healthier lifestyle. I was eating organic food and had trained to become a Bikram yoga teacher. What helped me to accept it was knowing that I’m a third generation breast cancer patient in my family, and by the second diagnosis, I already had ICanServe as a support group.
It’s very comforting to be part of ICanServe because it’s easier to be candid about my experiences with fellow survivors. And as much as they have helped me with my recovery, I also have opportunities to give back by sharing information, raising funds, and doing collaborations. It makes me feel good to be able to help others, especially women who have just received their diagnoses.
There is something about cancer medicine that causes bloat, so it became depressing that I continued to gain weight even when I wasn’t eating. It also makes us ugly. I lost my waist-length hair but I refused to allow cancer to make me ugly. I studied makeup to learn how to cover up my gray, sickly complexion, collected hair pieces, and started wearing lots of accessories. I also wore a lot of moisturizer and religiously applied lip balm because the treatments would even dehydrate the skin. As I tell my fellow survivors, it’s better to wear bright makeup to liven up the complexion because the usual no-makeup makeup look still makes us look pale. Our nails also turn gray so applying nail polish is a must! You really just have to make the most of your situation.
Positivity is key for me. Even if you get the full suite of treatments, they’re not going to work if you don’t maintain a positive attitude. You need to have a fighting spirit to survive all the physical, emotional and mental challenges. Lastly, having cancer was a wake up call for me to live life to its fullest. I realized that life is too short to have “what ifs” and to care too much about what other people think.
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Kara Magsanoc-Alikpala, broadcast journalist and founder and president of ICanServe Foundation
I got sick 19 years ago. I felt a growing lump on my left breast but my doctor said it was nothing to worry about. It continued to grow and so my surgeon-father decided to intervene and asked the doctor to do a mammogram and then a biopsy. It was confirmed to be stage 2B cancer so I had a lumpectomy, radiation treatments, and chemotherapy. My dad and two brothers who are all doctors were dismayed by the misdiagnoses so we went to the US for further treatments. It was there that I experienced having doctors who allowed me to be more involved in developing my treatment plan, which was not common practice at the time. I worked on becoming a more informed patient and learning more about my condition. Because of my background as a journalist, I took what I learned, mapped the network of the different local cancer support groups, and made it into a resource book for fellow breast cancer patients.
I found three friends who also wanted to give back so we put up the ICanServe foundation. We decided to focus on creating high-impact campaigns for early detection. There weren’t any formal structures for this so we decided to do it ourselves. We established the “Ating Dibdibin” program where we partner with local governments to create barangay-based early detection programs. To make it a long-term project, we pushed to have the cities make them into ordinances.
In a way, my misdiagnoses were a blessing because they inspired me to push for women to be more proactive about their health. The biggest hurdle for me was being told that I couldn’t have children after undergoing chemotherapy. I was engaged at the time so it was particularly crushing but my aunt told me, “What do they know? They’re just doctors. Just pray and leave it to God.” So I did and I had my miracle daughter!
I don’t wish it on anyone but many things in people’s lives get better with cancer. Being sick doesn’t make you a sob story. Cancer is just like any other crisis, and it can change your life for the better. It reminded me that life is just about love and service, and that you should live each day as if it were your last. There’s always a different vibe when you’re among fellow cancer survivors: the mood is always about being grateful and focusing on the positive because time is too precious to waste on negative things. I think the fear isn’t about getting cancer and dying, but living a life that is without purpose. In my case, my experience of cancer is what helped me find meaning.
Convinced to get yourself tested yet? Doing a self-exam is helpful but for cases like mine, sometimes the lumps are wedged deep into your breast tissue that you won’t be able to feel it. Talk to your doctor about getting a mammogram (usually for women 40 and above) or a breast ultrasound (for younger women). If you don’t have a doctor or have limited means, you can check the ICanServe website for a list of resources.
After I made the decision to have the mass surgically removed for biopsy, I honestly decided to just stop worrying. I figured that it wouldn’t make a difference to my results anyway, so I focused more on making sure that my work wouldn’t be affected and that I would be okay to be on my own after the surgery. Fortunately, the mass was benign and I just need to make sure that I have myself checked regularly. I may not have battled cancer but I feel a sense of pride when I see my scar because it symbolizes that I took control of my health. If you haven’t yet, I hope you do soon.
